Truth be told, I thought I knew the answer to “Who I am”, But I really don’t know myself as much as I thought I did. Have I really answered the question/statement Jesus said “if any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.” Mark 8:34. I’d like to say I committed to this when I have been baptized but I honestly fail at it many days. When you truly pick up your cross and follow Jesus/God, it will come with suffering, pain, isolation, and tears.
1 Peter 5:10 says “In his kingdom God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”
Romans 8:16 “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”
I found myself suffering, bitter, and angry with situations…But had I been praying for God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart: test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.“….I asked God to do this for me and he gave me exactly what I had been asking for…then I’m also reminded of Peter walking on water…
“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here.” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you. Walking on the water.” “Yes, come.”
This statement of faith is “Who I want to be” in the simplest form imaginable. But right now God has me working on exactly “Who Matthew is.” We had some time together as a team and we wrote on a piece of paper our name. On that piece of paper our teammates wrote words on it that described that certain person. The paper is labeled I am…
Satan wants to make me think that I am nothing on this paper. He wants me to say the opposite of these words of truth. And satan does win from time to time…but it doesn’t take any time to realize what is happening. It is a reminder that I need to continue to submit everything before the Lord and allow him to work in those times.
I want to be Outspoken, Excitable, Headstrong, “all-or-nothing”…but these are also weaknesses at the same time. I can be Outspoken but, I need to remember to submit to authority and know the correct time to talk. I can be Excitable but, I need to know that in my excitement I need to listen. I can be Headstrong but, I need to know how to facilitate what is going on rather than just bulldozing my way through. I can be All-or-nothing but, I need to watch that I’m not to hasty with decisions.
BUT……..I am all of these things. I am Outspoken, Excitable, Headstrong, “all-or-nothing…God wants me to be excited about my relationship with him, he wants me to be committed to him, even when I fall, continue to put God first in everything that I do, and repent when I have failed.
