The Truth is I’m SCARED to not live fully in what God has called me to be and do for his kingdom.
I have been reading a book called “Dangerous Prayers” by Craig Groeschel and let me tell you what…it’s very powerful. It has made me analyze every part of my life. What I feel like is the biggest part of the book is a prayer from Psalm 139:23-24 and it says “Search me , O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” That is a very dangerous prayer to pray. It will expose me in every way I don’t want to be. It will test me and break me. It’s honestly a prayer I have had to hold myself accountable to say everyday. I have days where I just want to float by and go about the day until I get home to relax. But what did I miss in that day to be a witness to someone? So it is an everyday decision that I make it clear that God will lead my steps.
So I just said God will break me. That is part of the process that I have to endure because I did not walk with God for a long time. Even if I had lived my whole life, so far with God, I still believe he would break me. There is always an area of my life God can make better. I will never be perfect nor do I want to be. I need God’s grace everyday of my life.
“To be wholly used by God, I have to be empty of myself.”
Reread that last statement. I have to be out of my own way, emotions in check, open to hearing the “hard” truth and be willing to go and do what others have not been called to do. And that is exactly what I’m trying to do. I have been called to go be the light to others in countries where there really isn’t a light. I want to be a man of God that is powerful enough to change at the least 1 life in my lifetime.
This prayer has changed the way I think about every situation I’m involved in. It is still a slower process for me to think about every word said, action taken, and even the body language I give off. As a man of God, I have to hold myself to a higher standard when I truly want God to guide every step. It will seem crazy to some people, but If God has said it, then it’s only some time until others see what God is doing through me.
So I challenge you, If you think you’re up for it, to say that prayer, then pray it. It will NOT be easy and it will test you everyday. It will break you. It will give light to those dark areas of your life that you don’t want anyone to see. It will TRANSFORM you. Be open to what God is saying to you. Be open to do the “crazy” things God has called you to do. Because it’s only crazy until it happens.
PS: I want to thank everyone that has been supporting and still supporting me for this mission trip. If you have not been able to get involved, I have a few fundraisers going on. Get a hold of me or go to my Facebook page and it is all there. And YES, I still need your help to get funded. Have a long way to go.
