This is going to a more lengthy blog than the past blogs. Also, this is going to be a very vulnerable and raw blog about God working while “taking me deeper.”
Spiritual Blindness is a real thing. I can sit here and tell you over the past 2 weeks, God has shown me where I failed to see the consequences/rewards of my actions and words. It has made me challenge myself how I approach every situation.
I’m tired of being blind and thinking that I’m being lead by God but in reality it was, on occasion, my own selfishness that was leading me. I have came to a point in my faith where I’m not putting myself in a box on what I think God can do with me. We all deal with events of our past and wonder how our God can use us sometimes…but the reality is “We have to go through it, to understand it, then to speak about it.”(a member of my prayer team for the race spoke this to me) It took me no time to understand what he said to me. It clicked instantly. We get caught up with moving deeper or following what God has called us to do and forgot the fundamentals of faith sometimes. It’s ok to step back and understand you need a reset. And 2 weeks ago, to the day, God did that with me.
I had a very rough week 2 weeks ago. It seemed like something everyday went wrong and couldn’t understand what was going on. I spent all week in deep prayer and asking for my prayers to be answered. He answered with “trust me” and I always trust in my God but that’s not what I was looking for…little did I know that Monday-Friday was preparing me for Saturday night at prayer service. The prayer service leader knew what had been happening and called me over to the group to pray over me. Well…God showed up and for the next 2 hours I had the blindness stripped away. I finally broke free of what was holding me back. And let me just say I thought I had put these things behind me, but since I’ve been asking God “to search my heart, make sure I’m doing everything for God’s Kingdom and to lead me to where he has called me” things came to light. And I know our Heavenly Father has forgiven me for those things but where am I at with that…So during that prayer service I opened up about the struggle to forgive myself when I did stuff I knew wasn’t right but did it anyway. All of these situations happened when I wasn’t actively seeking a relationship with God. I had addictions to medicine, alcohol, I abused myself, I used people for what I wanted, had anger issues over being homeless at times, being angry with not being able to pay all bills, heat my house, buy groceries, struggle with forgiveness from people that hurt me, self worth…God finally surfaced all of this and told me that Saturday night “let it all go and watch what I can do.” Let me just say that when we truly “Let go and Let GOD” you watch those mountains move. The valley of struggle and defeat become rich with Grace, Mercy, and Authority.
One of my best friends straight up told me to buy a book called “The believer’s Authority.” It has help strip away the blindness has been speaking to me about what God can do with me. This book, which I’m only 4 chapter deep in, has changed my thoughts about the authority I have in life. These 2 scriptures have become staples in the authority that God has given us. John 14:13-14 Jesus is speaking here “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” In Hebrews 4:16 it says ” Let us approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so the we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”It says right here that we have authority. Matthew 28:18 Jesus says “All Authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Jesus has that authority and we walk with Jesus daily in that authority. We approach our God with everything and because we are children of God he will answer. We will defeat those attacks from Satan. We will have authority over Satan and we will walk with God in righteousness.
I say all this because we all haven been chosen to go and speak God’s Love, Mercy, Grace, Authority, and Righteousness to the end of the earth. God has been working around the clock in every situation that has been attacking each and everyone of us. But God’s grace and mercy has given me more authority to “take me deeper” where he has called me.
I hope this makes sense to you about what God is doing. Maybe this is something you have been struggling with or know someone that is. Just remember we have authority with God and we need to believe it and ” take me deeper.”
